Ways to annoy the Master
by serenity600
Summary: several short stories including: ways to annoy the Master, a very weird dream, troubles of a young dalek, and a new partner...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Doctor who-though I wish I did…

Here it is; ways to annoy the Master! Enjoy!

--- Ways to annoy the Master---

Wear devil horns and tail to work, don't forget to constantly poke the Master with the devil's fork!

Ask Lucy Saxon how she can love someone who thinks 'Teletubbies' is brilliant. Keep following her around asking that until she starts to question herself.

Let a hint drop that you really work for Torchwood.-Really gets him off his bum!

Ask the Master where his dog is, 'Since he is a master'! - Look genuinely confused.

Tape drums playing the same rhythm he hears in his head then hide it next to his bed and turn it on really loud when he's sleeping!

Find out about the Master's plan to kill the cabinet (council, whatever.-people who are connected with the minister!) And install gas-masks in every seat so when the Master takes out his everyone else will have one!

Follow him around with several things (i.e. a newspaper, a cup of tea etc.) and keep asking him (in your best French accent!!) 'Does zey Master want hees tea? Does he want heez paper? Does hee want hees teddy?'-that's sure to tick him off! Works best if you're a girl.

Keep calling him Yana.

Side with Captain Jack (careful, Jack may be immortal but you probably aren't! )

When everyone else is saying the Doctor's name, also say it.

Ask the Master if it bothers him that the Doctor always wins.

Wear a cowboy hat to work.

Write: 'I will obey the Master' on the bathroom walls.

Start a rumor that the Master sleeps in Barbie pajamas.-make sure nobody knows who started it!

When he's in a middle of a gloat at the Doctor yell 'They are coming!' Scream at the top of your lungs.

Mess up his plans.

Ask him if it's true that he has become immortal. When he starts bragging about it start laughing hysterically.

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Please RaR!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you!!!


	2. the Doctor dreams

Disclaimer: Do I really have to say it? It just makes me more depressed that I do not own Doctor Who.

The Doctor dreams of screwdriver eating bunnies-what else is there to say?

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In his dream the Doctor was on a planet that as far as he could see was only inhabited by bunnies.

"Where am I?" He asked to no one in particular. "You 'hop' are 'hop' on 'hop' Cattsitori!" One bunny said. "And where exactly is that now? The Doctor asked utterly bewildered. "Planet 'hop' of 'hop' the 'hop' bunnies." The Doctor noticed that in between each word the bunnies would hop, it got to be very annoying, watching them hop around like they had all day-'course they probably had all day

"O…kayyy." He kneeled down to get a better look and was instantly surrounded by thousands of hopping bunnies.

"Do you 'hop' think 'hop' he 'hop' has 'hop' any 'hopity' food? 'hop' Gloria?" One bunny asked to another. "Doesn't 'hop' look like 'hop' it to 'hop' me." Answered Gloria.

The Doctor had just taken out his sonic screwdriver and began to scan a bunny, a huge "Oooooo! hop" started as the bunnies saw the screwdriver. "You 'hop' said 'e 'hop' didn't 'hop' have 'hop hop' any 'hopity' foood!" Said one very excited bunny who was hopping more and more till it started to look like a weird kind of dance that includes a lot of foot-stomping.

"I don't. Do I?" Said the Doctor, now very agitated, if only his sonic screwdriver would work!

"Yes! 'hop' you 'hop hop' do!" said another bunny who began to sniff the screwdriver intently.

"Stop it. That's not food!"

"Oh 'hop' I 'hop' think it 'hop hop' is!" Said the one who was sniffing it, suddenly he (the bunny) started to chew eagerly at the screwdriver and to the Doctor's horror the screwdriver began to be pulled out of his hand by the eager bunny.

"Stop! STOP! Hey, that's my screwdriver you're eating!" But it was no use, the bunny had swallowed it.

"See 'hop' if 'hop' he has 'hop' more 'hop' food!" The bunnies cried joyfully; they began to root through the Doctor's pockets finding anything from his glasses to a spare TARDIS key.

"Stop it! STOP IT!" the Doctor shouted, but he was surrounded by pink hopping bunnies who were taking turns going through his pockets.

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The Doctor woke up.

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Thank you! Hope you enjoyed that, no flames please.


	3. The troubles of a Dalek

Disclaimer: Why oh why can't I own Doctor Who???! 'Sob'

Summary: A Dalek's point of view. I think this one may need a little help with transporting to where he wants to go!

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Dalek Ken (yes, new Dalek! AAA! Run for the hills!) stared down through the glass window of the mothership, this was to be his first real mission…

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The Doctor and Martha were enjoying going shopping, so far Martha had bought some shoes and hair band, the Doctor had bought a sandwich.

"So, where do you want to go next?" he asked. "Well, maybe we could sit down somewhere and actually eat, you've been carrying that sandwich everywhere but not once have you taken a bite, must be torture." The Doctor looked at the sandwich, "Nah! I've just wanted something to carry and this was all I could find, plus it looked good."

Just then the Doctor heard something very familiar, "Why do they ALWAYS survive?" He asked. Martha looked at him confused "Daleks." He said, "Oh no!" Martha said looking aghast, "How did they find you here?" "I don't know." Sighed the Doctor, "Well miss Jones, looks like we have another adventure!" He grinned, though it didn't quite reach his eyes.

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Dalek Ken turned the corner, suddenly police started shooting at the Daleks (three in all including Dalek Ken.) "BACK TO THE MOTHER-SHIP! RE-TREAT! RE-TREAT!!!" yelled the leader. Dalek Ken dematerialized aiming to go back to the mothership but instead found himself in a German bakery that was, well, in Germany.

"OO-PS." Said Dalek Ken, he tried it again this time ending up in a bathroom "SHOOT." He tried it again this time ending up in a museum, "YA-RG, WHY-ISN'T THIS WORK-ING?!" In a rage Dalek Ken exterminated several priceless paintings setting the alarm off…

Later: Dalek Ken was alone in a dark prison cell chained up. If Daleks could feel he would be utterly miserable right now but the only thing he managed was "CRA-P!"

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In the TARDIS the Doctor and Martha were laughing, "Right when we come out they transport back to their ship!" Said the Doctor, "But I think the one was having a little trouble, I got a report that a Dalek was in a museum in Cardiff exterminating several paintings and swearing. Apparently they have him in the Torchwood prison chained up right now!"

They laughed awhile longer, and then went off to another adventure, whatever it may be…

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Hope you enjoyed that, I was trying to think it up as I went along so it might not be the best.


	4. desert by mistake

_This is just a thing I thought up for a small writing assignment for class that I thought you wonderful readers would enjoy._

I sighed, we'd been out here in this desert for a few days and the water was already low; someone would soon have to go back to the main camp to get water and I would be that someone I knew.

I lifted the water buckets onto my shoulders again; it was three miles to the main camp. Suddenly I was pulled out of my self pitying by a strange noise, I looked around and saw something appearing out of thin air, I started as I saw it was-or appeared to be-a police box, like the ones on old British TV shows. The door started to open as I stood frozen, nothing could slake my terror and amazement. As the door slowly opened I braced myself to run; finally after what seemed like ages the door opened and a man poked his head out, looked around confusedly and said, ''Aw, we're not in Scotland." I fainted.

_Hope you enjoyed it. And if you got confused, I think the unnamed main character is a girl. __It's__ up to you to decide for yourselves though._

_Cheers!_

_-Sorry it's so __short;__ I'__ll try and add a long story maybe next chapter._


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